Celebrating 34 in the City By the Bay

Todd tried to surprise me with a night in San Francisco for my birthday.  I say "tried" because I begged him to tell me what we were doing so I would know what to wear.  I have this thing about needing to know what to wear and it drives him nuts.  I am a challenge to surprise because of this :).  But he did a great job planning our little getaway and I had a wonderful birthday.  I think it was just great to get away from the kids, dress up and visit a restaurant that didn't have paper tablecloths and crayons! 
We spent the night at the Westin St. Francis in Union Square.  Our room was on the 28th floor with a view to die for.  And seriously, the Westin has the most amazing beds.  A little slice of heaven wrapped in sheets.  The view from our room:

Union Square

We then had dinner at Chaya in the Embarcadero. 

De-li-cious!!!  The salmon ceviche appetizer just about melted in my mouth.  I still fantasize about it!  Chaya's customer service was excellent by the way.  As much as I love SF, there can sometimes be an obnoxious level of snootiness.  For dessert they brought me this tasty number:



Molten Chocolate Cake

 Because the restaurant is located on the waterfront the view leaves little to be desired, even on a rainy night:

Sorry the photo is not super-crisp.  Couldn't exactly fit a tri-pod in my purse and had to hand-hold my camera at a slow shutter speed.  For those of you not familiar with SF, this is the Bay Bridge.  Looks great at night doesn't it?!
After dinner we had a night cap at the hotel bar.  That whole snootiness attitude I mentioned earlier?  Our bartender embodied it.  But I did try Oprah's favorite new drink, Moscow Mule.  Quite refreshing; great for a hot summer day. 
The following morning we had breakfast at Sears Fine Food.  It has been in SF for over 70 years and consistently has a line out the door.  Breakfast did not disappoint and since we ate at the counter we didn't have to wait in line.  Score!  Loooved the Eggs Benedict.  After all of the food I consumed during this birthday celebration poor Todd had to roll me home.

Outside Sears Fine Food. Todd's still smiling because he doesn't know he will have to roll my ass the home :)!

Look up and you will see the Sir Francis Drake

Blog Sweet Blog...

...Oooh how I've missed you!
It has been a ca-RAY-zeee four-plus months since I blogger. In the span of two weeks I almost lost both of parents to serious (yet unrelated) medical dilemmas. Dad had a hemorrhagic stroke and Mom was so busy taking care of Dad that she ignored her own illness until it was almost too late. She came down with a severe case of pneumonia and sepsis. No one should ever have to get a phone call that their mom has been found on the floor unresponsive. UGH! What an awful feeling!!! But both are doing well and are on the mend! Yay for my parents!!
In addition to medical brew-ha-ha Todd and I took an adults only trip to Maui. The trip was great except for my 24 hour bout with the flu. That royally sucked! Fortunately there was only one day where I was really down and out. Due toa lack of appetite my first few days post flu I think this was the first time I came home from Hawaii weighing the same as when I left! No matter how much sun block I used I still got a killer tan. Todd was pissed. He is the one with Middle Eastern heritage and I'm the one who, despite my Western European heritage, gets a tan after being in the sun a mere 30 minutes. Apparently Todd inherited all of the Scottish genes and none of the Syrian. But some of my Maui favorites were the soft velvety sand on my feet, listening to the waves crashing as I drifted off to sleep, the amazing seafood (Duke's!), lounging by the pool with a good book, the shopping, and most of all being there with good friends. Sigh... I love me some Hawaii!
This fall I began an Adobe Illustrator class. With all that went on early in the semester I had to drop my other two classes. But this one has kept me pleasantly busy. My teacher rocks and Illustrator is a program I have grown to love (maybe even more than Photoshop!)
Thanksgiving left us with lots to be thankful for this year! Just having us all here and healthy was reason enough for me! Our little home was filled with laughter, joy, and some fabulous food. My Martha Stewart mashed potatoes and apple crumb pie had enough butter to clog more than a few arteries. My mom's stuffing was to die for! Thick chunks of bacon in stuffing, who woulda thunk it? We had turkey and stuffing sandwiches the next three days. Although delicious, I think I have had my fill of turkey for a while. Even the dogs discovered turkey surprises in their food. I just can't believe I didn't take any photos!
Now we are in the throes of Christmas decorating. Tree up and decorated, check! Department 56 village displayed in hutch and china lovingly packed away, check and check! Chipboard houses on fireplace mantle? Check! Stockings hung with care, check! Wreath above fireplace and a fresh pine scent lingering in the house? Check, check! Plus I have my dining room table decorated, Todd hung the lights outside, and I have my yard decorations displayed along our walkway. All that is left are decorations for the entertainment center, garland along the stairs, decorating the kids' tree, and hanging my banners. I swear, we have been like two busy,little elves since Sunday!

Maddie's Story

Yesterday while I was floating around the blogoshpere I popped onto Design Mom for a bit. For the duration of her pregnancy she has been posting readers' birthing stories. You can find them all here. I thought, "what the hell, I'll submit Maddie's birthing story." For those of you who don't know, my Maddie was not a planned pregnancy. I'm very open about it and despite the opinions of others, I feel there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Although she was a surprise (to say the least!), she was and is loved and cherished beyond measure. So here is my story:

My pregnancy happened by surprise. I was twenty-five, dating my boyfriend for a little over a year, and getting ready to finish my BA. The last thing I planned on was getting pregnant. But two little lines on a pregnancy test abruptly changed my life FOREVER. When I saw the results my heart sank, and I uttered “Oh my God…” All these thoughts came rushing at once: What do I do? My life is OVER! How do we tell our parents? We are not financially prepared for this! And then there was a thought. The thought. I could get an abortion. And yet, despite my liberal views I knew I couldn't’t do it. I knew abortion would be something I would regret my entire life. And I am so glad I chose her. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful for my daughter.
Unfortunately in the last four weeks of my pregnancy I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. My doctor prescribed total bedrest and a scheduled induction at thirty-nine weeks. At that point I was so swollen, tired, and uncomfortable bed rest seemed like a three week spa vacation!
The night before my delivery her father and I could hardly sleep. All I could think was, “Tomorrow you will meet your baby! Tomorrow you are going to have an actual human come out of your body! Holy crap! Come. out. of. my. body. ACK!”
At 6AM, November 11th, 2002 I was induced. Some parts were good (hearing the gallop of her heart beat.) Some parts were not so good (the attempts to place a catheter between her head and my uterus before I got my epidural. YOWZA!) But then I got the news from my doctor, my baby was showing signs of distress. They would have to attempt the fetal catheter again to monitor her heart rate more closely. And just as they inserted the catheter it happened. Her heart rate dropped, and continued to drop. That heart beat that I found so soothing before was now bringing me to tears. It was so slow. That gallop had turned into trot. Alarms were buzzing, people rushing into my room, my doctor yanking wires out of monitors to transfer me into the operating room for an emergency c-section, and all I could do was sob and think, “I have come too far to lose my baby!” Her father stood there in shock as a nurse shoved a smock into his hands so he could join me in the OR. My mom, a nurse, tried to soothe me words of encouragement. My dad just burst into tears.
My doctor, God bless her, stayed calm through the entire ordeal. And after what seemed like forever my new daughter was pulled out from my stomach at 1:40PM. All I could think was, “Please let me hear her scream. Please let me hear her scream. If she screams it means she’s breathing.” And scream she did! The baby that was so distressed scored a ten on her APGAR. She was healthy; she was perfect. And she was a blessing. She may not have been planned, but my little Madeleine Kay was one of the best “things” to ever happen to me. For that I am thankful. Thankful for her and thankful I didn’t make a different choice.

To summarize the ending, her father and I split two years later. We weren't right for each other. Todd and I reunited a while later (we dated in high school. Makes for a great story when people ask how we met!.) Five years, one wedding, another baby, and two dogs later here we are. Maddie's father has also remarried. They are expecting their baby this fall. He and I share 50/50 custody. For me, I am blessed that Maddie was so young when Todd and I started dating. When it came time to introduce and integrate her into our relationship we took it slooooow. But all of her memories include him. In her eyes, Toddy has always been there. I love that. There was no awkward adjustment, no fears of losing Mama to a new man. We were fortunate.

I am open with this story because I want to show people unplanned pregnancies can and do have happy endings. With my pregnancy came unimaginable responsibility, but it also came with a love and a passion for another human being that I never knew existed.

And for the record, I am still a die-hard pro-choice advocate. Just because I didn't choose abortion doesn't mean I don't approve of a woman's right to choose. I feel fortunate that I had that choice available to me. It is not only a personal decision, it is also a choice based on timing and life circumstances. I had a job, I had medical insurance, I had the support of both of our families and our friends. Not everyone is so fortunate. My choice would have been dramatically different had I been an eighteen year old, unemployed college student.

Thanks for letting me share my story and my thoughts!

Crawling, First Grade, College, and More Crawling...

I cannot believe how quickly time has passed since my last post. Lately it feels as if we are simply passengers on the Bullet Train of life, watching everything zip by. Maddie started first grade at the end of last month. My baby is in first grade! When she started kindergarten it was heart-wrenching. She had become a full-fledged kid, running down the hallway at school into the open arms of her teacher (whom we LOOOOOOVED!!!!) It was both sad and exciting to see her grow up. Fast forward to first grade and the excitement is palpable: my child is going to be in school ALL DAY LONG! The world is my oyster, I now have six hours to get stuff done! Ya-hoo!!! That excitement is dampened somewhat by the fact that I have a very busy seven-month-old who seems to be magnetically attracted to anything that is off-limits (consequently, once it is in his possession the item inevitably makes its way into his mouth.)

Now that Luke is crawling and getting into who knows what and Maddie's school load has quadrupled, I figured this was the perfect time to spread myself even thinner and try to wrap up that bachelor's degree I began eons ago. In my defense I took a break after my grandpa passed away, got pregnant, and then changed my major (as a result I had to do almost all of my upperdivision over.) Plus squeezing in college between Maddie and work was its own unique challenge. So here we are... I am taking a geology class online, geology lab, and a photo class for fun. And by-the-way, can I tell you how OLD I feel going to school with a bunch of baby-faced kids fresh out of high school? We were discussing the effects of earthquakes/plate tectonics in my geology lab when I looked around and had what Oprah calls an "a-ha moment". These kids were not even a zygote when we had had the last "big one" (Loma Prieda, 1989). UGH!!! At thirty-two I don't feel old, but to these kids I am. Their biggest worry is whether that cute boy in biology will text or MySpace them, meanwhile I'm at home trying to dust off my algebra skills (circa 1997) for a geology equation while simultaneously prying an electrical cord from my son's mouth. But with age comes wisdom and a confidence that I did not have my first time in college. And with that age and wisdom comes a, I guess you would call it, smugness. Life has taught me all kinds of lessons that they have yet to learn. I now know that while getting your heart broken may seem like the end of the world, it really isn't. Having children will teach you a love you never knew existed and that miracles really do exist. Being married is soooo much better than dating. Life won't wait for you, so make the most of it while you're here. While I do miss the carefree days of my youth, I certainly wouldn't trade it for what I have now.

Milestones

Unless you have worked in special education or the medical field developmental milestones in a baby/toddler may not be a tremendous concern. A thought it the back of your mind? Definitely. But something you think about everyday? Maybe not. With Maddie I didn't read too much into them. Her dad, who works in the medical field? Totally different story. Always looking for milestone achievement.

Several years later when I got a job in special education I began to realize how vital these milestones were. Consequently I have turned into one of those nutjobs who is aways on the lookout for milestone achievement. Omigod?! Did he coo at two months?! Did he sit up at four months?! Is he social and responding to my voice?! Suffice to say, they have become a mini-source of anxiety for me at Luke's well-baby check ups. The nurse and doctor ask me the usual barrage of questions and I answer with bated breath, eagerly waiting for his progress report. Is he development on track? Are we meeting, exceeding, or behind in development. Tell me! TELL ME!!!! HOW IS MY CHILD?!?! Clearly Todd is the calm, level-headed person in this relationship (ie. the normal one.)

At his six month check up we were told Luke is doing great and meeting all of his milestones. Apparently all the dog hair he had ingested during the first six months of life had not been to his detriment. PHEW!

Honestly though, I am so grateful his development is on track. It is a tremendous blessing to have a wee one that is thriving.

So this is where Luke is right now with his development: he is crawling, has begun to pull himself up, has started to throw little temper tantrums when he can't have what he wants (I swear between these three things alone my last shred of sanity is coming to a screeching halt), he says "da da", "ma ma", "ba", & "la", he is obsessed with the remote control (clearly he is his father's son!), is curious about EVERYTHING (the best way to explore anything is to put it in his mouth, his favorites items being being flip flops and electrical cords), and he love love loves to flirt (yup, totally his father's son.) Right now he is infatuated with his sister (who dotes on him constantly unless something better is on TV), the dogs (patient despite all the hair pulling and climbing, I guess this makes up for them being assholes the other 80% of the time), and the outdoors (can't get enough of the trees. Yay! Mama's got herself a little green tree hugger :)!!) He is finally beginning to nap. He was not too fond of them the first four to five months. I got the newborn that would stay awake for four to six hours, take a ten minute catnap, and then wake up (it was rough!) Now the dishes can actually be washed or I can waste a lot of time on the computer.

I cannot believe time has passed us by so quickly. It feels like yesterday he was my beefy 9 pound newborn wanting to be held constantly. Now I have a six month old who would rather crawl and put germ-laden shoes in his mouth rather than be confined in my arms.

I've Been Naughty....

...and haven't posted in over a month. Sooooo bad! I have two excuses for you: 1-I've been super-busy and 2-When I have not been super-busy, I have been super-lazy (I blame the pregnancy!) Also, I apologize in advance for the photos. I have not had the chance to Photoshop them yet. I just wanted to get them posted.

But I did want to throw out some blog updates before I head off to my pre-natal appointment. First of all, here are some photos of Lucas when we had our 3D ultrasound in October:

Our little sweetie sucking his thumb. Awwww....

At first he did not want to cooperate with the ultrasound and we were left looking at the back of his head. But after some belly-jostling he became more agreeable. Truly amazing to see this little baby rolling around the inside of my tummy. We were able to watch him move, suck his thumb, and even saw his sweet little tushie. Skinny little butt with no fat, too cute for words! Todd and I had the whole family with us to celebrate this special moment: Maddie, my parents, and my in-laws. I wanted everyone to watch the newest member of the family. What a little miracle! There is a lot to be said for modern technology.

Maddie celebrated six last week. WOW!! SIX!! I cannot believe the years have flown buy so quickly. I remember her ultrasound like it was yesterday, and now she is this big six year old. Exciting and sad at the same time. My little baby... sigh... She had a week of celebrating between Dad's house and our house, lucky little girl. We hosted a tea party for her and 10 of her little friends at the English Rose. The girls dressed up in pretty party dresses and were served a real tea luncheon. Lunch was served on actual china, with hot cocoa from a tea pot. I think the girls felt quite regal with their gowns and fancy china.

The following day we celebrated with family at our house. It was much more relaxed and casual, which I welcomed now that I am so hugely pregnant. We had our family and bonus-family (all of the wonderful friends we call family, Maddie's honorary aunts and uncles.) Auntie Sarah and Uncle Darin brought over their new baby, Tana. She is so precious and blonde! Maddie had a great time visiting with her family, opening gifts, and eating cake.

After all of the fan fare died down and Maddie was contently playing with her new toys, I realized how lucky we are, and how lucky Maddie is. We have so many wonderful people in our lives between our families and bonus-families. Maddie is so fortunate to grow up surrounded by so much love and support. This love and support provides her with a feeling of security, which I don't think all kids get to experience these days. With love and security she has the opportunity to grow up confident, happy and self-assured. It really does take a village to raise a child!

We bought Madeleine her first digital camera. Nothing too extravagant or expensive, she is only six and who knows how much abuse it will have to take. But she is so infatuated with Mommy's camera that I thought it was time for her own. Plus it will distract her from trying to use my pretty Canon Rebel EOS (which happens to be my other "baby"!)

At the beginning of the month my mom, mother-in-law (Mom 2) and sister-in-law threw me a baby shower. They did a fabulous job! I loved all of the cowboy decorations (Lucas's bedroom theme is vintage cowboy, Maddie is vintage cowgirl). It was so much fun to celebrate his pending arrival with so many loved ones. Plus he and I got totally spoiled. Everyone was incredibly generous and I cannot thank them enough! You forget how tiny babies are until you look at the size of the clothes. Maddie even got a "big sister" t-shirt to wear on the big day. So sweet! She could not wait and wanted to wear it the next day. At the shower Maddie did a great job being Mommy's helper. She unwrapped the gifts while I read the cards. Todd and I are trying to get her involved as much as possible so she feels included in this entire process. She has really enjoyed helping us prepare for Baby Lucas, and we have enjoyed sharing this process with her.

It's Been a Year

I cannot believe it has been a year since we got married! July marked our one year anniversary. Time does fly by when you are having fun (and when you have one child, one on the way, two dogs, jobs....) Everyone says the first year is the hardest. We were fortunate not to have experienced that. Todd and I get along so well, we really are best friends. Do we have squabbles and tiffs? Of course! Who doesn't! But we just mesh together so well, words cannot describe it. Aside from our friendship, I think one of our key ingredients for a successful first year was teamwork. If something needs to be done, he just does it. He adapted to the role of Bonus Dad as if he had been with Maddie and me from day one. Driving her to school, chaperoning field trips, fixing her boo boos, guiding her through life, and most importantly giving her love and support. And on top of that he vacuums and does dishes! And I recognize how hard he works to provide for his family. Watching my husband's success at his job make me so proud of him!

During this I am reflecting on how our lives have changed during our first year of marriage:

We moved

Maddie started school

I started a new job

We got a dog

We got pregnant

We got another dog

I am so fortunate to have found the world's most amazing partner in life. I hope our future years are as kind and rewarding to us as our first year has been!